Make-Up Your Mind: How Do You Define A Beautiful Woman?

How do we define a beautiful woman?

by Farah M.

Mindy Kaling, actress, writer, comedian, producer

Influential women who speaks about women empowerment and equality like movie stars, pop icon, beauty queen and fashion models are oftentimes has light skin, skinny body and seen sexy outfit. Gone are the days when movie stars wear couture dress on red carpet now they are wearing see through dresses and underwear for formal event. When ordinary women look for role models especially teenage girls they also follow the way they dress and they behave in public.  I admire the likes of Mindy Kaling, Melissa McCarthy and Lupita Nyong'o who change concept of beauty in Hollywood. They are not your typical actress because they are also part of the people behind the camera working as writer, producer or director. They are also well educated women who celebrate their beauty and know to speak-up their minds. 

Melissa McCarthy- actress, comedian, writer,
 producer and mother of 2 

Lupita Nyong'o actress, film and music video director.
She has masters degree in acting from Yale School of Drama

Girls bully other girls because of their physical appearance. I once heard preschool kids talking they don't want to play with the other kid who wears fake UGG boots. As early as 4 years old kids knew the brand name of their clothes and shoes. It is sad that they value their friends with the clothes that they are wearing. Social media does not help in promoting positive self-image of women. We are posting endless selfie of Facebook and Instagram and hoping to get attention from strangers. Our self-concept become dependent upon the number of likes we get.  Cyber bullying on social media is one of the cause of suicide among teenage girls. Click the link New York Times Cyberbullying and Suicide of Teenage Girls

Fashion and cosmetic companies gave unrealistic concept of a beautiful women. According to research Make-up and cosmetic products are 35 billion industry as of 2010. In Asia and Africa products that promises skin whitening formula. We spent huge amount of our salary on cosmetic products, nail salon, facials, beauty salon to help us feel beautiful. But we are reluctant to invest on our career, our education or our innate passion. I admire Tyra Banks when she featured petite and overweight girls and girls with physical disabilities in America's Next Top Model. She made the girls understand that being a model is more than just the physical appearance it is more of their personality. 

I admire the Christian organization that promote modesty "Bod Squad Petition", a campaign that request fashion industry to promote age-appropriate clothing and advertisement. You can also check-out The Modesty Experiment by Lauren Jayne. She document her experience when she try to stop using make-up and wear modest clothing. 

Using cosmetic products sure has its benefits. Lipstick and lip balm can help moisturize and protect our lips from chapped lips especially during winter. On the other hand we should also be aware of the side effects of cosmetic products to our skin. Some cosmetic products contain chemicals that can cause cancer. Hair products may cause baldness. Click the link for more details of side effects of cosmetic products. 

Below is a time lapsed videos on Youtube on how ordinary women would look gorgeous with the help of make-up and Photoshop. Media always push the image of a perfect woman. A campaign to advertisers for mandatory disclosure of manipulating model's body through technology like Photoshop. Visit globaldemocracy.com and search for idea9 if you want to support the campaign and to learn more. 

video from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17j5QzF3kqE

Sub-consciously we are teaching our young girls that "Beautiful" means you need to have white skin, skinny, and has full make-up. Even Disney Princesses promote the concept that fair skinned lady is considered beautiful. Though most of the Disney Princesses are known for their beauty. It is our duty as adults to teach little kids to learn the lesson behind each princesses story. Like the courage of Mulan and Pocahontas, the kindness of  Cinderella, the artistic abilities of Rapunzel. Belle reads a lot and Jasmine choose the Alladin's character instead of her other suitor's. Jasmine was also against arranged marriage. The princesses are beautiful because of their unique characteristics that set them apart from other princesses. We can teach little girls that practicing good values is more important character of the princess not her hair or her gown. 

Princess Fiona and Shrek of Dreamworks proved that
 true love is accepting each others imperfections.

Pocahontas of Disney's Princesses
 is a real life story a Native American from Jamestown, Virginia

When I was young girl in Philippines I also admire movie stars who have light skin. Maybe because of the Spanish occupancy Philippines. Light skin or "mestiza" referred to ladies with Spanish blood. While "morena" or brown skin which is the predominant color of Filipino is not favorable in media. I tried almost every skin-whitening products available in drug stores but nothing works.  I thought I could make my brown skin fairer. I was always teased because of my skin tone. I have poor self-confidence growing-up because aside from being brown skin I am also short and my legs and feet are fat. I even asked my father why do I have these fat legs. I know I got it from his genes. He said I have to be thankful to God because I have legs. 

When I moved to New York City two years ago I learned to love skin. I accept the reality that I am brown skin and no matter what cosmetic products or advance medical treatment we use we cannot change the fact that I am brown. I saw people of different race they are confident of their skin. I see white women went to tanning salon to get my skin tone. Then I realized we should be thankful of the beauty that God gave us because it is our own unique identity. It is a combination of our parents genes and we should be proud of it. 

We should not be dictated by what the fashion industry, cosmetic industries and the mass media is telling us of what is beautiful. I belief that all women are beautiful no matter what race, skin tone, height or weight we have. Every Body is Beautiful!!!

Thank you for reading my blog. Comments and suggestions are welcome.

Wold Hijab Day: What Hijab Means To Me

Wold Hijab Day

      On February 1, 2014 will mark the 2nd year celebration of World Hijab Day. Last year it Bangladeshi lady from New York City Nazma Khan.  Based on what I read from the website her family moved to New York City when she was 11 yrs old. She was bullied inside and outside her school because of her hijab. When she started selling hijab on-line. She met other sisters who had the same experienced like hers. She started the campaign around January  26 calling all women, Muslim and non Muslim to wear hijab for one day to experience the feeling, promote awareness and modesty. She received overwhelming response from all over the world. 100 countries have joined and it was translated in more than 40 languages. I only learned about it through facebook invitation. On February 2, the Muslim women of New York City will have our 1st Annual Convention in the Celebration of World Hijab Day. They called it "Hijab is my Crown". Muslim and Non-Muslim women are invited to the event. There would be talks, bazaar, fashion show, photobooth. It's a women only event. I'm excited about this event. I was hoping to be a vendor but they said they already fully booked for vendors. 

     I first wore hijab during my first Ramadan in 2013. I watched a lot of hijab tutorial from You Tube. I discovered that there are lot number of girls around the world who become popular doing hijab tutorial on You Tube. I love colorful scarves I bought quite different styles of hijab. I love the one that my mother in-law sent me from Bangladesh. I also love my first abaya that my friend from Jeddah sent me. I looked around for shops that would sell modest clothing in New York City. Most of them are shops near a big mosque of in Muslim communities like Jamaica Heights in Queens, Antlantic Avenue and Bay Ridge in Brooklyn. Most of these clothes are more traditional clothes from the different countries There are also a lot of people selling on-line. That's also inspired me to start my on-line business. I also did some kind of research when learning about Islam and what other sisters are doing on the different sides of the world. It really a learning experience because of the diversity of the cultures from different countries.

So what is Hijab?

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their private parts: that is purer for them. Surely God is aware of everything they do.” (Quran 24:30)

     After few months of studying Islam and my observation not all women wear the headscarf. There are women who wear burqa, niqab, dupati, turban, and some Muslim don't wear hijab. A girl should start wearing hijab when she have her first period. I belief that a woman should not be compelled to wear it if she doesn't belief in it. Hijab is more than a piece of cloth. To be modest in appearance, action and speech. Yes, its takes courage and strong faith. I am not a scholar and my knowledge is not that much. So I leave the further explanation to the experts. Click the link to learn more about hijab from  Al-Islam

Farah Fashions NYC logo

Hijab as symbol of strength and responsibility

    I feel ashamed of myself because I know before I converted I am one of the people who had negative perceptions about women in Islam and Muslim in general based on what I see on multi-media. Now I realized that me wearing hijab becomes a symbol of strength and responsibility. I admire all the women who stand to their faith and consistently wearing hijab despite of discrimination and hate crimes against women wearing hijab. Some countries like France ban the use of hijab their government said that it is against the rule of the government. Wearing hijab is also a symbol of responsibility. Personally when I wear my hijab I am more conscious to my behavior. I tend to be more kind to strangers because I know that people will be looking at me and will judge all Muslim women based on what they see. As an individual person we contribute to what would be the people think about Muslim women. More than the issues of wearing hijab and modesty. The bigger issue of gender equality among Muslims should also be discussed within the community. Celebrating World Hijab Day is a perfect opportunity for everybody to talk about important issues. Through the World Hijab Day and other women's group I learned that women can still pursue their dream and fulfill their duties as Muslim women. I list down 5 young Muslim women who made contributions in their chosen field while wearing hijab.

1.  Malala Yousafzai - Blogger for BBC, education activist from Pakistan, she was shot in the head by Taliban because of her fight for education of girls. On her 16th birthday, July 12, 2013 she delivered speech at United Nations  and it was dubbed as "Malala Day".

Malala Youzafzai

2.  Ibtihaj Muhammad - World Champion Fencer,  First American-Muslim women to compete for the United States for Olympics

Ibtihaj Muhammad

3. Mariam Sobh - Blogger/ News Achor, USA, her blog Hijabtrendz has more than 500, 000 followers from all over the world. 

Mariam Sobh

4. Obabiyi Aisha Ajibola - World Muslimah 2013 from Nigeria

 Obabiyi Aisha Ajibola

5. Tawakkol Karman - journalist from Yemen, 2011 Nobel Peace Prize Winner

Tawakkol Karman

I hope you enjoyed reading my blog today as much as I did. Comments, suggestions and recommendations are welcome. Invite your friends and family and let's celebrate World Hijab Day!!!

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Confessions of a Muslim Convert

As I mentioned in my previous post "My Conversion Story", I only takes a minute to be a convert to Islam but being a good Muslim is a life long journey. Honestly, it's not an easy process. Learning everything about Islam, reciting the prayers, learning the "wudu" and "ghusl", identifying 'halal' and 'haram',  finding a mosque and of course looking for friends who will help you to make the journey towards Islam memorable.

The Big News

My mother and father via Skype

Telling your family members that you converted to Islam is not an easy task. My family is Catholic and my parents are very religious people. I was trying to figure out the best way to tell them. I told my closest friends first and luckily they accepted my decisions wholeheartedly. One of my friends warn me about hate crimes against Muslims. I told her that I live in a mixed community in Brooklyn. Jews, Christians and Muslims live peacefully in my neighborhood so she have nothing to worry about. Another friend of mine asked me about a certain verse in the Quran which I am not familiar with. I told her I am just learning and I explained to her that we are still praying to the same God it's just that there are certain ways how we do it. Then, I got engaged so me and my husband talked to my parents via Skype about our wedding plans. They congratulate us and my parents gave us blessings for our marriage. Then, they were asking us, "So where will you have the ceremony? You know marriage is a sacrament and you should have a blessings in the church." I replied, "Hmm,...I converted to Islam." And they become speechless for a while. I explained the process of the wedding and I can see from the webcam that my parents are teary-eyed but then they still supported us. I am forever grateful for my parents about it. 

My friends Toneth de Leon and Dina Teodoro
wear tradional Bengali dress on my wedding

Learning Materials

When I converted the Imam gave me a learning kit. I have my second Quran, book about the Jesus and Mary mentioned in Quran, DVD about Islam and the prayer book. I also searched on Google about Quran, Islam and the life of a convert. The information are overwhelming. Honestly, there are thousands of site that could mislead someone  about the true meaning of Islam. It is one of the concerns of being a convert in filtering the information that we see on-line. There are different Schools of Thought in Islam and there are also people who are using Islam to promote violence. I hope there is a way that we can classify and validate if the information is valid and true to the essence of Islam.  

Learning the prayers

My husband was teaching me how to pray. All the prayers in Islam are in Arabic except for Du'as which you can say in your native language. At first I was shocked because first I am Filipino my native language is Tagalog and my parents are also speaking Illonggo, a native dialect from their province. Now I am in America I am speaking English, some of my students speaks Spanish so I am learning to speak Spanish. I have Rosetta Stone to help me learn. Then my husband is from Bangladesh his parents were asking me to learn Bangla because they said it is hard for them to learn English. Then, in order to practice my faith I need to learn Arabic. Before I doesn't makes sense to me. God is our Creator, He understand and sees our heart then why do we need to speak Arabic? Now, I see the value of learning Arabic. Quran was in Arabic in order to understand the full meaning of Quran we need to understand the Arabic language. Second, people from all over the world speaks different language. If all the Muslims learn Arabic, it will unite us as community. I enrolled in New Muslim Program and Perfecting the Prayer class at M.E.C.C.A. Muslim Education and Converts Center of America. I met wonderful converts who have their different stories of coming to Islam. I would highly recommend M.E.C.C.A. to all people who would want to learn more about Islam.

My friends at M.E.C.C.A.

Wearing Hijab

My hijab during Eidul Adha 

There are about 2 billion Muslims all over the world. There four schools of thought in Islam and they only agree on the 70% of the principles. I also read that there is no compulsion in religion. Many Muslim women are not wearing hijab. Some women wear burqa, some women wear niqab, some women wear hijab, some women don't cover their hair so totally it up to the person and your faith. Hijab is one of the most controversial issues among Muslims and people of other faith. Other people say that hijab is form of oppression and women were forced to wear hijab. Personally for me you have to belief on the purpose of wearing a hijab. It should come from your heart. Your love for Allah should be your main reason of wearing a hijab. Hijab is more than a piece of cloth. Hijab is modesty in appearance, in the way you speak and the way you behave. When I first wore hijab and used public transportation I experienced disapproving looks from people on the subway. People choose not so sit beside you even the train is crowded. At first it bothers me but then as months went on I just get used to it that wearing a hijab is part of my lifestyle. Honestly, I am not wearing it 100% maybe like 90% of the time. I love watching YouTube videos of  hijab tutorials from women all over the world. One of the YouTube channel that I like is the Hijabi Bengali Sisters

Finding a mosque

Finding a mosque is one of the issues of converts. There's a lot of mosque in New York City but each one of them have some kind of rules. Majority of the mosque were built by different communities and they speak their native languages and translate it English too.  Some of the mosques also don't have place for women. Some of the mosques also are overcrowded during Jummah. I've seen some Muslim brothers who were praying outside of the mosque and they placed their praying mat on the street. I feel bad especially during winter time but Subhaan Allah their faith is enough to keep them warm. Personally, I prefer to go to the mosque in 96th St. It's where I converted and got married so during Eid this is where we go to.

Looking Forward

After 8 months of being convert I memorized 5 Surah and I can pray by myself. But learning doesn't stop there. My goal is to learn to read Arabic and be productive member of my community. Since I converted I learned that there is limited shops that caters to active wear for Muslim women. My husband and I think of an idea on how to solve this issue. We will make a clothing company that would cater not just only for Muslim community but to all women who want modest clothing. And that's how the Farah Fashions NYC was born. 

Farah Fashions NYC Logo by: CAOM

I hope you enjoyed reading my blog. Comments and suggestions are welcome. Photos, images and texts are properties of Cherry Ann Montehermoso.